Education of the Stars

Will Smith – Despite rumors that the Fresh Prince was once accepted to the pre-engineering program at none other than MIT, Smith has made it clear that he was never accepted to or attended the prestigious school. He does, however, admit to having high SAT scores. Unfortunately, test scores are regularly criticized as being poor indicators of performance. Therefore, personally, I’m more apt to listen to his solider-scientist Robert Neville in this season’s I Am Legend or his cocky Air Force fighter pilot in Independence Day. B Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt - Having seen Pitt as the buffed up Achilles and a super-assassin opposite Ms. Jolie, it’s not hard to imagine him at Kickapoo High School (you’ve gotta love those hideous English spellings of Indian words), where he was involved in sports, debating, student government, and acting. Following high school, he attended the Missouri School of Journalism at the University of Missouri – Columbia. Journalism isn’t a far cry from Pitt’s current humanitarian work in ravaged New Orleans where he is creating affordable housing in the Ninth Ward for Katrina survivors. Do I believe this role? Yeah. A Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton – This key member of the Triad of Embarrassing Bombshells attended Marywood-Palm Valley School in Rancho Mirage, California her freshman year of high school, Dwight School in New York for her sophomore and junior years, and then a few months at Canterbury School in New Milford, Connecticut before dropping out. Despite her lack of opportunity and resources, Hilton pulled herself up by her bootstraps and eventually earned a GED. Way to go! Seriously, when I hear that Paris decided to become a spokesperson against fur and for vegetarianism, I can’t help but think that she would do more damage than good to any given cause. Note to all do-gooders: until Paris grows enough of an intellect to stop setting herself up for public floggings, keep her away from your cause. D Sean Penn

Sean Penn - This lauded actor and director briefly attended Santa Monica College, where he studied Auto Mechanics and Speech but did not graduate. If you’ve attended college, you know that Auto Mechanics and History, Political Science, or International Relations are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Forgive me then if I don’t quite take Penn’s buddy-buddy relationship with dictator Hugo Chavez or Penn’s views on American foreign policy seriously. As well-intentioned as he may be, Penn doesn’t have the training or experience to justify his claims. His movies are great, but I’m not believing this role. C Denzel Washington

Denzel Washington - Before he played an anti-apartheid activist, a black Union soldier, Malcolm X, a detective, a drug kingpin, and a hard-driving football coach, Washington attended the University of Oklahoma. He eventually dropped out but attained a B.A. in Drama and Journalism from Fordham University in 1977. Interesting tidbit: Washington played collegiate basketball under coach P.J. Carlesimo. He still found time to pursue his interest in acting, and after graduation he went to the San Francisco American Conservatory Theatre for one year. As far as causes go, Washington has been an avid supporter of the Girls & Boys Club of America, having benefited from their services as a child. Maybe that’s why he plays the role so well. A+ Sylvester Stallone

Sylvester Stallone - In an unexpected example of a book that can’t be judged by its cover, Stallone, who will forever be labeled as the dull tool Rocky Balboa, is actually a scholar. He attended a private boarding school and then the American College of Switzerland in Laysin and the University of Miami for three years. He came within a few credit hours of graduation before deciding to drop out and pursue an acting career. Like his little-engine-that-could onscreen alter ego, Stallone never gave up and later requested that his acting and life experiences be accepted in exchange for his remaining credits. He was granted a Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) degree by the President of the University of Miami in 1999. Stallone isn’t one to open his mouth very often, but I’ll give him my ear when he does. B Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie - Jolie had a rough go at it through high school. She studied at the Lee Strasburg Theatre Institute for two years as a child. She attended and graduated from Beverly Hills High but never went on to college. Years later, Jolie is known worldwide for her acting skills, martial arts prowess, and her bee-stung lips. No Hollywood celebrity has been as active in the international scene as of late as Jolie. She is a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner of Refugees (UNHCR) and visits refugee camps worldwide. She has been highly visible in meetings with U.S. lawmakers and has received numerous distinctions for her efforts. Which begs the question: is she qualified to speak to these issues? Perhaps not from an expert’s perspective. However, one cannot argue with her drive and sincerity. Maybe some causes don’t require a degree. A